The Devil and Leo Valdez
by L1berty0rD34th
Summary: A parody of the famous, "The Devil and Daniel Webster," where Leo Valdez, with nothing better to do with his life, decides to make a not-so good deal with the Devil...


**Mr. O'Donnell, you getting this? Yeah, it's me, _. Bye.**

**To all other Fanfictioners:**

**Yeah, my LA teacher assigned this, so here it is. No romance (up close) or language or anything too violent to keep this "school appropriate." Might be some indirect Lezal (keyword- MIGHT) and yes, the plot will be "I'd sell my soul to the devil to (insert what you want)." Told in First Person Leo POV. **

**It's VERY lame though, sorry. Focusing on House of Hades, so I hope that makes it up. Remember to keep voting what 2****nd**** story you want!**

**Leo**

My life was pretty awesome right now. The Giant War was over, the camps were together, and everyone was safe. To add to that, I had an awesome girlfriend.

At least, until I sort-of-accidently-almost sold my soul to Hades. And not even at a good price.

You see, I was trying to build one of Archimedes's more advanced spheres. Ok all right, that was an understatement. It was a design that not even the dude himself completed before the Romans killed him.

My cabin mates were all doing their own thing- building robots, having a throwing-wrench war, and generally fooling around.

I was the only one who was actually doing something productive, and I almost NEVER do that. Being more ADHD than Percy contributed to that, and Percy was SERIOUSLY hyperactive.

I whacked the half-complete ball of metal with my screwdriver, muttering, and "Stupid sphere. I'd let the fricking devil take my soul if I could just complete this."

Because really, whoever said nothing is impossible had never tried slamming a revolving door shut.

After a couple more hours, I eventually stopped working on it for the day and spent the rest filming Percy and Annabeth at the beach doing you-know-what with the Stoll brothers. They caught me, though, and it was all Percy could do to prevent a knife ending up in my neck. But that's a story for another day.

The next day, I made another shot at the sphere with no long. Later that afternoon, though, Nyssa, my older sister (if gods had DNA), came over to me and said, "There's some guy at the front door demanding to see you."

"Ok," I said and went over.

The dude looked pretty normal. He had sandy hair and black eyes, about as tall as Chiron in centaur form and slightly muscular build. In his mouth was one of those 1800's long pipe cigars.

"Um, can I help you?" I asked. Obviously, this guy was either a demigod or god. I hoped it was the former.

He pulled out a sheet of paper. He looked at me and said, "If I'm correct, yesterday at 1:04:28 PM, you stated that you'd sell the soul to your devil to complete the sphere thing."

Oh, great. It was the devil. Normally, right now, any regular demigod would be freaking out, begging "Please don't take me! Please let me live!" But I had A LOT of experience with gods. After all, I had kicked Gaea's butt with Leo World. Everybody says they hate Leo World, but hey, what do you expect from me?"

"Yeah, I did," I replied.

"So then, would you to sign the contract?"

"What? Of course not!" I started to get a little panicky.

"Well, don't you want to complete the sphere? I'll even give you 10 days to live before I take your soul."

I don't know how, maybe it was charmspeak, but next thing I knew, I had a pen in my hand, about to sign my name on a paper that said, "For the price of one soul of Leo Valdez, the Devil shall complete the sphere of Archimedes, then shall come to collect the mortgage after a period of 10 days."

I hesitated for a moment. Did I really want to do this?

I signed my name. Done.

"Well then, in 10 days time I will come back!" The devil took the paper and pen, snapped his fingers, and walked away.

When I went back inside, the sphere was complete. But instead of feeling all happy, I was panicking. I went to see Percy. After all, he was the best person at getting out of sticky situations

*linebreak*

Percy just nodded as I described the situation to him. After I was finished, he mused, "I'm surprised you haven't thought up another Team Leo."

"So, are you going to help me or not?" I asked.

"Sure."

"Great, now-"

"For a price, of course."

I froze. Percy had a troublemaker smile on his face. That was bad news. Last time he did a favor for me, I had to pay back by being Percy's personal servant for a week. Which meant I did things like carry him around, clean his cabin, and parade around shouting "Percy Jackson is the best!"

But I was more scared of the devil right now than anything the son of the sea god could think out. "Name it," I said.

He told me what he wanted.

I paled. "No way, man. I am SERIOULSY not doing that!"

He shrugged indifferently and stretched. "Have fun saving yourself, then."

"Dude, are you seriously oblivious to the fact that you could never see me again?"

"Hey, I'm sure you'll find a way out of this. Or, you could sit back and watch the master of awesomeness do the job. For the price, of course."

I hesitated. "All right."

"Ok then," he said simply.

"Um, the plan of action?" I prompted.

"Don't worry, I've got an idea."

Great tip- NEVER listen to Percy's ideas. Especially if he's thought of it so quickly."

But really, there was nothing I could do, so I went back to my cabin and prayed to the gods that I would get out of this alive.

The days sped by, until one morning, the 10th day had come and I was destined to die, bla bla bla.

I went to Percy and asked, "What's your brilliant idea?"

He smiled evilly in a way that made me glad I was on his side. "Very simple. Just do what you did back in the Archimedes room."

I smiled. "Oh, I get it."

I mentally facepalmed myself for not thinking it up earlier. Now I owed Percy something for he easily could have figured out on my own. There sphere was just sitting there!

Later that day, sure enough, the same person he'd seen 10 days ago arrived at the door. The dude smiled. "I'm here to finish collecting the mortgage."

I smiled back. "Ah, yes. About that. I think I'd like to reconsider."

The smile was wiped off of Devil's face. "Excuse me? We signed a contract that explicitly stated that I would collect your soul today."

"Right, well, um, bye!" I sped off. The devil roared in protest and took off after me, knocking over projects and weapons. As soon as I entered the forge, I shut the clear glass door and went over to the sphere.

On the other side, the devil shouted, "Leo Valdez! Open this door right now or I will kill you and take your soul!"

I yelled back, "A very fine and persuasive offer, but no thanks!" and continued trying to wire the sphere to the armory's cables.

"LEO VALDEZ! I WILL DESTROY YOU!"

"I'd rather not be destroyed!" Gods, this was hard!

The devil banged again. This time, the tempered, reinforced glass cracked just a little bit, but the devil was making progress.

Fortunately, I was making some too. One of the circuits had connected firmly to the armory wiring. 2 more to go.

"Don't make me do this, Valdez! Just come over peacefully!" Another small crack appeared in the glass door. The 2nd wire was done.

"VALDEZ! SURRENDER NOW!" He shouted and with another kick, the glass cracked even further.

"Oh, yes! I'm totally surrendering! Look!" I shouted and smashed the button. My sphere friend sent a massive voltage through the entire system, almost overloading the wiring.

It just so happened that Mr. Devil was standing on a metal plate, which me and my cabin mates sometimes used to prank each other. The voltage traveled up the plate and electrocuted him. He howled in pain.

I casually walked over and opened the door, grabbing his shirt collar and snatching out the contract. Making good care he was watching, I went over to a forge fire and threw the paper into the Greek fire. It instantly turned to ashes.

I looked back at him and swept my hands, making the gesture that said, "Tada! All done."

"And that, my friend, is how you do things in Leo World," I said to him.

He growled attempted to charge me, but the electricity had disabled his legs and all he did was trip over and smash nose-first onto the stone floor. I walked over and looked him in the eye dead serious (not really).

"Please, leave now, before I have to zap you again," I told him and flashed him my winning smile. He whimpered and disappeared in a _poof_ like you see in movies.

Someone started clapping behind me. It was Percy. "Good job, man."

"Thanks," I said, hoping he forgot about the price.

"Now, about my reward…"

I internally died.

So I spent the next week and a half walking around dressed only in Barbie underwear.

**Wasn't a very good story, but really, I couldn't think of anything.**

**Quote of the one shot- Forecast for tonight- darkness**

**Song of the one shot- Some Nights by Fun**

**Entertainment of the one shot- Mark of Athena (really couldn't think of anything off the top of my mind ._.)**


End file.
